UW 007: Unconventional Wisdom On: Toilet Seats, Winning, and Answers
What is actually essential in life?
What do you really need?
I’ve spent the better part of March in Colombia, which has been a delightful, challenging, and enlightening experience. And the whole experience has made me reflect on what is truly a necessity and what is simply a comfort. A lesson I learned because of a toilet seat.
To start off with, the original venue lied to the leaders of our co-live and they weren't ready for us: rooms were still being built, the internet was bad, and the kitchen a chaotic mess. While my room was nice enough, it was clear the venue clearly wouldn't suit our month-long stay.
So the following week we moved to a new venue, which had also been undergoing renovations just before we arrived.
My new room, hastily finished before being handed over to me, had good internet but was very basic. The simple furnishing and somewhat grungy walls didn’t surprise me.
What did surprise me was that my toilet lacked a seat.
I checked it out and discerned I could make it work but it wasn’t ideal. Nevertheless, I chalked it up to our sudden move and did my best to deal with it.
Sure enough, a few days later Ruben (the handyman) showed up with a box telling me he had my ‘tapa’. I smiled and let him into my room.
Then an hour later he showed up with a mirror for my bathroom and I was even more delighted. I let him in again just before I headed out to a small pool party hosted nearby, looking forward to returning to my newly refreshed room.
When I returned I found my new mirror expertly installed, but the toilet seat was nowhere to be seen.
I was a bit shocked.
Had it been a dream?
Had I imagined this toilet seat?
Did someone come into my room and steal it?
The next day when I saw Ruben I asked, “Dónde está mi tapa?”
He smiled and explained to me that my neighbor (a lovely woman named Emily) also needed a toilet seat and so he moved the seat to her room (which made sense) But then he immediately said, “And besides you don’t need it.”
I smiled a little surprised and made a small joke about sometimes needing it, just before getting into the shuttle to head into town.
But throughout the whole day, I kept thinking to myself,
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
It became almost like a mantra
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
“Do I need a toilet seat?”
Yes, it wasn’t very comfortable sitting on the toilet without the seat.
But then again I didn’t actually sit on the toilet that often.
Sure it wasn’t ideal but in a sense he was right. I didn’t need the seat.
I was simply used to having one. I liked it. It made my life easier in many ways, but I didn’t ‘need it’, need it.
And it made me think of all the things I used to think I needed only to realize I didn't.
I used to think I needed cigarettes, but then I quit.
I used to think I needed a particular partner in my life, but then we broke up.
I used to think I needed inspiration to write, until I learned to write without it or discover inspiration in the moment.
I used to think I needed amazing clients, until I decided to be amazed by the clients I had.
And life's funny like that. What we really need is very simple. There are even some things we need that are so simple we forget about them because we’re so focused on complex things we don’t need at all.
In the end, I did get a toilet seat for my room and I’m glad I did, but I’m also glad that I had this chance to reflect on what I actually do and don’t need in life.
One of the things I love about travel is it can reframe my idea of luxury vs. necessity. But whether or not you’re traveling anytime soon I invite you to consider what things in your life are things you can do without.
💡Coaching Tip of the Week
Is Failure A Block Or A Path?
Recently I had a session with someone who has been trying to build a business for a long time. They had tried various ventures, but none of them worked out.
When I asked them what they wanted, they said things like success, financial freedom, and a profitable business.
And when I asked them what was in the way, they said: Well I keep getting NOs, things keep not working out, and I just haven’t been able to do it.
These answers were all true and all spoke to an experience this person was having, but they also didn’t give us much information to work with in our coaching session.
In our session, we knew what he wanted and we knew he wasn’t there yet. But what was really stopping him wasn’t as clear.
Still... I’ve seen plenty of coaches who would take this kind of answer at face value. They would accept that the ‘thing in the way’ of success is failure and they would get to work on fixing the failures in order to create success.
But when it comes to business it’s easy to see failure and success in black and white.
Think about a baby who’s learning to walk.
Before it can walk, everything it does is failing.
Crawling is not walking. Standing and falling is not walking. Taking one step and sitting back down isn’t walking.
The only thing that’s walking is walking, everything else isn’t.
But this failure is ESSENTIAL to walking.
Without all these failed forms of walking there will never be any walking.
The people we coach need this kind of failure in order to succeed.
These failures aren’t in the way at all. What’s really in the way, is the idea that this is failure. And this is where a really brilliant coach digs in.
Not into how to fix failures or create more successes, but to understand the way the person in front of them defines winning and losing.
The way the person in front of them thinks about the process of mastery.
The way the person in front of them creates a world that has power when things work out, but makes them a victim whenever things don’t.
If you want to give your clients something more than a short-term win or some incremental improvements, learn to dig into the game they are planning and the rules they have for winning and losing.
Have thoughts on this post?
🌀 Happenings
(What’s going on Tokuuuu!?!)
1. The first round of Coaching Beyond Yes and No is underway
..and people are already signing more clients and enjoying the process of enrolling even more. And best of all people are commenting and sharing their experiences inside the community.
Here's one of those comments:
If you’re curious about joining the next time I open the doors drop your name on the wait list here - https://coachingmba.co/coaching-beyond-yes-and-no/ You'll get notified before I release it to the public and a good discount to boot.
2. Colombia!
I’m in Filandia, Colombia at a cool co-live run by Innate Experiences. I've had a great time and eaten some yummy food. If you want to know more...
Check out my Instagram for some good ole food and travel corn.
I also talk about busines and coaching stuff on there.
3. The Next Round of the CoachingMBA
The two folks who have enrolled in the Coaching MBA are doing cool things. They’ve both been making bigger proposals and creating cool things. (More on them in the celebration).
If you’d like to enroll early in the CoachingMBA you get 2 bonus coaching sessions
for signing up before the official enrollment period (which is coming soon).
Toku’s Treasures! 💰💰💰
(Aka cool sh*t I want to share with you)
1. A Short Book On The Art of Being Graceful
Recently my father shared a post with me from Seth Godin. In it, Seth shares a really cool and simple ebook about the art of being graceful. Grace is interesting because it’s both challenging to cultivate as well as something people often admire and/or envy in others.
I hope that you enjoy reading this ebook as much as I did -
https://seths.blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/graceful.pdf
2. My Travel Coffee Set-Up :
Even though I travel light, one thing I often bring with me is my coffee maker. I do this because I love really good coffee and I love the ritual of making it in the morning. There have been so many times that I have been traveling and the only coffee available is crappy, weak, drip coffee, or sometimes no coffee at all. And so I usually travel with a very simple coffee setup, so I can make coffee anywhere that has hot water.
Here’s what I use:
Portable Coffee Maker - https://aeropress.com/products/aeropress-coffee-maker - Aeropress has been around for a while as a way to make espresso like coffee on the go. To be honest I don’t think it does an amazing job of making espresso. It can work if you have pre-ground espresso beans or an electric grinder, but hand grinding espresso sized grounds is a real pain. Not to mention that pressing espresso grounds through the Aeropress requires some real strength. So instead I use it like a mini French press, by using something called the inverted brewing method (
). This allows me to make French press-like coffee but with a much smaller and more sturdy setup.
Portable Coffee Grinder - https://amzn.to/4coMhfo You can use an Aeropress with pre-ground coffee but I prefer to grind my coffee fresh each day #coffee-snob. And for travel a hand grinder is smaller and easier to use. There are a lot of other hand grinders on the market, but many that I’ve tried felt really hard to use. This isn’t the most expensive or aesthetically pleasing coffee grinder, but its simple design and clear ground catcher make it great for making coffee on the go. Plus when I fill the top with beans and grind until the bottom part is full it’s the exact amount of coffee I need to make a cup of coffee w the Aeropress.
🎉 Here's Who I'm Celebrating This Week ...
This week I want to celebrate my two early enrollment members for the next round of the cMBA Katie Stone and Mike Trugman
Katie Recently filled her in-person acupuncture practice after just 2 sessions of coaching and then signed a new client at a higher rate while reducing the size of her offering, successfully leveraging her time.
Here’s what Katie shared recently:
If you want to learn more about her work you can do so here - https://katiestonelove.com/meetkatie
Mike recently interviewed Seth Godin for his podcast Mike's Search For Meaning (a serious get) and that’s on top of already having an amazing podcast with many excellent episodes.
He’s a fomer accountant turned life coach and loves asking the big questions. I’m so excited to have him be a part of this round of the cMBA. Here are links to his podcast and website
Mike's Search For Meaning Podcast -
Mike's Coaching Page -
https://miketrugmancoaching.com/
If you’d like to join these two amazing coaches in the next round of the cMBA you can go here to hop on a call with me to talk about it and learn more --> https://calendly.com/tokumccree/coachingmba-strategy-session-referral
Inspiring Quote of the Week
And finally, your thought provoking quote of the week:
“The Universe only has three answers:
1) Yes
2)Yes, but not right now
3) No, but I have something better planned."- Origin unknown - last seen on Katie Stone’s Instagram―
Thank you so much for reading. Until Next time!
Love,
Toku